After recently receiving a major pay bump at work, my boyfriend and I were excited about the possibilities that came with our newfound financial freedom. However, instead of planning an extravagant vacation, I made the decision to prioritize paying down our house. This choice has sparked some debate between us, leaving me wondering if I am in the wrong for wanting to be financially responsible.
The Financial Reality
You find yourself feeling more like a world citizen than a citizen of just your own country. Definitely, I always thought I would hate living in a large city, and Bangkok is one of the largest in the world. But there is always so much to do and see (and so much food to eat!) that it’s impossible not to love it.
My (28F) parents are organising a family holiday abroard and have approached me stating that they will be paying for my sister’s (30F) holiday but not mine. This is because, to them, I can afford it and she cannot, and that is the only way we would all be able to go on vacation together (they couldn’t pay for us both). Then out of nowhere, my husband’s family decided to go to our vacation spot for the full 8 days.
With the housing market being as unpredictable as it is, I felt that putting extra money towards our mortgage would provide us with long-term stability and security. While vacations are enjoyable, the satisfaction of owning our home outright and being free from debt was a priority for me.
My parents are immigrants and own a restaurant and have worked their a$es off to create a fantastic life for me and my siblings. They also taught us the value of money and working hard for the things we have. A mortgage may be the biggest debt you ever take on. After all, you could be making monthly mortgage payments for up to 30 years.
Setting Priorities
It is important to have open communication with your partner about financial goals and priorities. In my case, I explained to my boyfriend that while I value experiences and making memories together, I believed that securing our future by paying off our house was the wisest choice for us at this time.
As the house and cars were paid for out of her inheritance on top of her providing childcare they would otherwise have to pay for, the numbers in this equation just weren’t adding up. One of her biggest objections is that I am paying for multiple other non-family members and that her older brother (30M) is old enough to be paying for himself. My girlfriend is also coming with us and I’m paying for her and her 5 y/o daughter.
There are many unique cocktail bars but you will pay $9 USD a drink on average, which is expensive compared to other things to do in the city. I moved here for my husband’s job and started teaching English online until I found a full-time job. Teaching English online is a great side gig to have regardless of your employment status.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Am I being selfish for prioritizing my house over a vacation?
- How can I compromise with my partner on this issue?
No, everyone’s financial situation is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another. It is important to consider both short-term enjoyment and long-term financial stability when making decisions about how to spend your money.
Try to find a middle ground where you can save for your future while also enjoying some leisure activities. Consider setting aside a portion of your income for savings and investments, while also budgeting for occasional vacations or experiences together.
